so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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