My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
