I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
you made out with another girl for some wings
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
