Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
