another moral hangover. fuck.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize