I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
