Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
