I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize