I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
