I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
