and you said cock pushups were impossible
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
