if you like me you must not know who I am
This girl is more easily done than said...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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