what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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