Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
