I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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