That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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