we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize