he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
