This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
