You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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