I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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