and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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