I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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