an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
