ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
