Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
