a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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