apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
