how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
