just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
