You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
