Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
