Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
