too bad you live with your parents still
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
