walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
