i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
