she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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