i may or may not be watching the land before time
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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