Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize