i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize