I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
