The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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