super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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