At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
