but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
