Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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