but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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