I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i wish my penis had a tongue
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
