You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize