yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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