My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize