I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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