You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I FOUND THE LEGS
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
