I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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