can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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