Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize