dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
