So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
