Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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