I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
