I just pynch a tree in the face
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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