Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
