Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
