I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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