It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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