If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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