State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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