Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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