The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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